Nothing beats mindset. Except a kick in the butt.

I know, ice cream rocks too. But that's not the point I'm trying to make. Thanks though...

TL;DR:

1. There's always a bucket list (and a good excuse not to make it happen).

2. There's a reason why we do thing. And a reason why we don't.

3. Discipline isn't a thing. Mindset is.

4. Nothing beats a kick in the butt if mindset needs a push. Give yours the one it deserves!

Can you name one person around you who doesn't have any project whatsoever in mind?

I can't.

Everyone around us has bucket list projects and dreams they hope to realize. Someday. At some point. Maybe.

Some want to create.

Others want to see Paris at least once in their life.

Even more wish they could start living a life of their own, away from their 9-5 routine.

The issue though is that, in most cases, wishlist are there to stay. As wishful thoughts, I mean.

Think about it. Can you list how many people around you actually turn their projects into reality?

For most people, bucket list and lifetime projects remain a fantasy. A mix of passion and wishful thinking that eventually leads to very little change, and no revolutions at all.

God I love painting. Some day I'll be an artist! Maybe… cause' for now I'm too busy with work so I can't do anything about it… We'll se, right?

I'd love to change my routine and be my own boss, but it's such a mess at the office these days that I literally don't have a minute for me! Meh!

I wish my team did all the work while I go play golf, but for now things can't run without me… Hopefully later!

I really want to change careers, but right now the timing is complicated… Later, hopefully!

Rings a bell? Hmmm.

I hate to write it, but here's the thing.

Finding people who live their life dreaming of their bucket list is easy. Finding people who have excuses to delay their bucket list realization is even easier.

We want to do tons of stuff, but we don't, because doing new things implies interrupting our routines, exploring the unknown, saying 'no' to others, and stepping out of our comfort zones.

That's too bad.

That's too bad, because ‘deciding to do' is usually as easy as ‘deciding not to do' (or deciding to see later - that's same same).

And in the end that decision belongs to us.

We can decide to set directions.

We can decide to set milestones.

We can decide to follow up and persist, or we can decide to drop the dream before it even starts.

Why we do things. And why we don't.

The question that really matters though isn't 'why' people don't do whatever it takes to tick boxes off their bucket list.

It is to understand why people decide that action needs to happen now (or more generally, later).

There are two schools of thought to consider here.

Some say that people act to either fulfil a desire, or relieve a pain.

• OMG! An ice cream! I want that so bad… ← desire

• I've been dreaming of this Porsche for years, look how beautiful it is!← desire

• Ouch, that hurts. I'm booking an appointment with the doctor. ← pain

• I'm buying that book on Amazon because I'm struggling with an issue I want to solve.← pain

• I can’t wait to be doing my next parachute jump, the adrenaline shoot is insane? ← impatient desire

Fair enough.

But others say that everything we do aims at one single thing: avoid discomfort.

• I'll buy myself an ice cream, because it's too hot out there and I need to restore my comfortable self.← wellbeing

• I'll buy a Porsche (or a Rolex for that matter), because deep down I want to send the social signal that I am comfortable enough to spend that money. ← social status

• I go to the doctor because my something hurts - I want to go back to my comfortable zone! ← wellbeing

• I buy a book on Amazon because I'm struggling with an issue I want to solve AND I can't be bothered to go to the bookshop down the street. ← laziness

• I'll do a parachute jump because nothing else gives me that feeling of being intensely alive. ← energy refill

Said differently?

We don’t do things because we want to do them.

We do things when our internal tensions stretch our comfort zone so badly that we don't have any choice left.

Meanwhile, our bucket lists remain a damn list, because fantasies and personal projects rarely hurt hard enough to push us to act.

Ways to take action.

There's a magic word people keep using when they look for ways to take action. Discipline.

But discipline is a myth, and reading the dictionary definition for the word will easily make you understand why.

By definition, discipline rhymes with punishment. And punishment isn't the way to do things.

Discipline is a matter of imposing yourself a constraint, and to make you stay (forcefully) into a no-comfort zone you don’t want to be in.

Why would it have the slightest chance of working, considering that we mostly do things to avoid inconfort?

Discipline is a facade. ( ← I'd even say it's BS Iif I wasn't polite)

Mindset isn't.

Mindset works, because it conditions us to operate naturally, in a way that makes sense to us.

Martial arts are a discipline (a field of study) that get acquired through hard effort and pain, but the reason why they have success is not the brute force.

It’s the upgrade they give to your mindset by teaching you patience, perseverance and strength.

Judo and box teach you not to be scared to fight if you have to - they give you a combative mindset.

Capoeira teaches you that combat can also be a dance. It gives you a 'compete with yourself’ mindset.

Aikido taught me to wait for the hit and respond just before taking it, because the harder they hit, the faster they fall. That's a patience and consistency mindset.

Mindset works, because it prevents incomfort.

Adopting a new mindset is more impactful than trying to force discipline on hourself, because it pushes discomfort away through consistency, and regular action.

There's no need for discipline if your mindset gets you to commit naturally.

Sometimes though, mindset isn't enough (we all get tired), so a kick in the butt becomes the second-best way to take action. Until your energy comes back and your mindset takes over again, of course.

Conclusion?

1. There's always a bucket list (and a good excuse not to make it happen).

2. There's a reason why we do thing. And a reason why we don't.

3. Discipline isn't a thing. Mindset is.

4. Nothing beats a kick in the butt if mindset needs a push. Give yours the one it deserves!

Your turn. Imagine this.

👏🏻 Think about that project you've been delaying for ages. What is it about?

👏🏻 What satisfaction and comfort would you get from that?

👏🏻 What mindset do you need to start getting things done?

Hit reply to this email and tell me. If you have no idea, hit reply anyway. I'll happily give you a kick in the butt.

It's up to you!

Until next time,

A.